Old Advice Could Be Holding You Back
Updated: Aug 6
What if the advice that kept you safe as a child is the exact thing holding your career hostage today?
Before you blame yourself for the anxiety that spikes every time you walk into a networking event — consider this.
From the moment you were old enough to understand language, you were told the same thing over and over again: do not talk to strangers. It was well-intentioned. It was meant to keep you safe.
But here is what nobody told you when you grew up — that program was never uninstalled.
And now, decades later, you are standing at the entrance of a room full of people who could change your career, your business, and your life — and your nervous system is firing the exact same warning it did when you were six years old.
The anxiety is not a character flaw. It is not shyness. It is not a sign that networking is not for you. It is a program that was installed before you had any say in the matter — and it was never designed for the professional world you are navigating today.
Behavioral psychologist B.F. Skinner said it best: "Some of us learn control, more or less by accident. The rest of us go all our lives not even understanding how it is possible, and blaming our failure on being born the wrong way."
For experienced professionals, this program has been running so long it feels like personality. For students and young professionals, it is fresher — but no less convincing. In both cases, it is whispering the same lie: that the room is dangerous. The truth is the room is full of people who are hoping to meet someone exactly like you. Overcoming networking anxiety does not start with a confidence hack or a breathing technique. It starts with one simple realization — the fear you feel was never yours to begin with. The rule that once kept you safe is now the very thing keeping you small.
You were taught not to talk to strangers. Nobody told you that strangers become mentors, partners, clients, and friends.
Drop a comment and tell us — do you still feel that anxiety walking into a room full of new people? You are not alone. Tag someone who needs to hear this and share this post with your network. Here at The Rounder Table we post consistently to provide helpful advice on how to be a better networker — follow us and visit us at www.theroundertable.online
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If "don't talk to strangers" is still running in the background of your networking, here's a way to override it: 30 ready-to-use conversation starters that make the first move easy. Get the free PDF →
Been saying this since the 90's